y0y0ma

the second semester has begun! life is much easier with my macbook, i can probably type twice as fast as i can write by hand.

i plan on getting a 4.0 this semster, and i won't be smoking weed on the weekdays, in theory.

i'm also going to be working in oakland on mondays and wednesdays, which i think is a good thing.

things i am currently excited for:

1) ben brought some absinthe back from germany....
2) my warm jacket should be arriving in the mail very soon. no more mind-numbing coldness.
3) a cute girl that i met at a show is in my history class. how random, how greeattt.
4) my tonsil infection has subsided. i can eat without pain, and i'm less tired than i was.
5) i'm now actually 21, granting me access to upscale bars that require a blacklight.
6) http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/01/24/shark.japan.reut/index.html

i have a tonsil infection. gg. would anyone like to make out?

ps. it's really cold :(

YEE YEE YEE

i celebrated my birthday today

we all went to the thirsty bear, drank a lot, ate a lot, spend 388 dollars.... then got kicked out of NFG for being too hard, left, went to LLT, got in a fight, laughed, etc, etc, so it went.

good night.

INTRODUCTION TO ASTRONOMY

INTRO MICROECON ANALYSIS

HISTORY OF US SINCE RECON

MODERN EUROP IMPERIALISM

NIETZSCHE & POSTMODERNISM

gg GE

so this is the new year???

lol jk

i resolve to read more, communicate with my family more, keep my room clean for longer periods of time, to wear more than one pair of jeans, to do 70 push-ups and 100 sit-ups a day (maybe even run?!?), and to stop being a pussy in general.

goodnight.

finals are swarming me. i have to read 7 chapters of mythology, reread on the genealogy of morals, reread heidegger's letter on humanism, read some stupid novel, revise 3 essays, write one philos essay, and take another humanities final on absolutely nothing important. since i have so much work to do, i'm going to go smoke weed and drink wine.

oh, the other day i saw my schools production of "The Brothers Karamazov." it was amazing! i think i will go to the theater more often.

my roommate snores incredibly loud. sometimes i get angry and the desire to smother him with a pillow does cross my mind, i must admit. i wonder if i snore...

my basil plant is still alive! it's really the only good thing i have going at the moment.

thanksgiving break is coming up in a few days, and while i am excited to see all my BRO'Z, i'm not that excited about being in orinda. i hate being in my house, but i have to be there to take care of my sister for she cannot walk at the moment. she has a dead man's tendons in her leg, so i shall spend my time reading her stories like "bone soup" or whatever the hell it's called.

i saw EITS and a bunch of other shitty bands like xiu xiu and metric at the bill grahm festival. if i ever become a high ranking fascist, trust that i will exterminate all the indie kids in the most efficient manner possible. EITS was okay though.

i'm reading the genealogy of morals, it is very exciting. on the side i'm trying to read neuromancer. it's pretty exciting as well. my life, on the other hand, isn't that exciting.

i shall now complain about various things:

-i dislike having a roommate. he is nice and intelligent, but i'm not particularly fond of anyone who observes a power religion. however i can engage in theological discussion with him even though he doesn't really believe in evolution, biological or linguistic, and thinks that gays are "wrong". haha, today in class we learned that self-denial leads to NIHILISM! don't fuck with Dionysus, k?

-i am disgusted by people who think that voting somehow grants them access to a high realm of morality. you voted against taxes on cigarettes, you are pro-choice, you want our streets fixed, you want san francisco to push for the impeachment of bush and cheny, you support firefighters, and you voted for arnold. the world really fucking cares. where is the voting option to unfuck america? where is the option to abolish our foreign policy of manifest destiny? where is the option to ban the death penalty? where is the option to abolish our famed military industrial complex? where is the option to abolish god from our administration? keep voting on tiny affairs, forget the fact that this country is 2nd to last, just in front of turkey, in the acceptance of evolution. forget the fact that life, liberty, and happiness is a lie, that we are in an invisible jail that the public beast blindly adheres to thanks to the filters of socialization. forget and unconsciously embrace the promises you have made upon exiting the womb, the promises that make you human in this orphaned world. forget our gluttonous capitalistic appetite and zombisms. all is well as long as i vote! ecuador, haiti, nicaragua, east timor? never heard of em!!1 i'm safe from your judgmental gaze cuz i voted and really contributed to the greater good that really exists in 'merica! everybody! vote! FUCK YOU ALL.

-i'm tired and perpetually pissed. i don't really have any hope. i'm just rolling a rock up and down a hill, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down. we must imagine Sisyphus as happy, right? fuck you, Camu.

DNR and goodnight

here is what i did today:

-woke up at 6am to write a paper only to stumble in class to hear that it's due on monday.
-looked in my treasure chest and realized i was out of weed/gold
-tried eating at daphne's but got really really sick. probably because i haven't smoked today :/
-tried reading erich fromm - escape from freedom but it's just really dense
-listened to one of my roommates chew really loudly and felt disgusted with humanity
-looked at my francis bacon book to augment my disgust
-bought jager
-?

the end!

back in orinda..
hung out with annelise, ate dinner with my mom, got my gstar hoodie back, forgot my zombie book, worried about my basil plant in SF; what if my roommates eat it?

i kind of hate myself.. i need a haircut, some t's that actually fit, new shoes, new jeans, a new life, a girl or just some mo'z to bring my spirits back up. mo therapy. panda therapy. either one.

i'm behind in most of my classes, but i'm not stressin. i have to read the german ideology, ovid's metamorphosis, and some other mythology book. i also have a quiz on casablanca on monday in dr. leonards class. ha.

"And his last delirious words ('faster...faster...get me a ladder') bespoke his terror of the Demon within him."
i'm stuck in gogol's overcoat, a pitfall induced either by the melting pot of my mind or the troubled tri-alloy skies encasing me within. to rest my head in the snow, or to struggle in the search for my own ascension - that is the question.